Wonder
by Shellybelly23
Summary: Its a story in the mind of a distured X5 escapee. Insainity closely comming in and taking over. My beta is named Becca. Say thanks to her! Oh and its rated M for curse words.. .for now.. NOT A ROMANCE FIC! for now at least. Just read it and please review
1. Chapter 1

Okay this is the first chapter of Many! Tell me what you think and if you like it. The more reviews the faster the chaps will go up! Mean I know, but needed. And I have a new beta, one that really does what she's suppose to, opposed to my last one, KELSEY who didn't even do one fucking chap! Grr... Anyways My new Beta is Becca, everyone says thanks to Becca, I sent her this today and she sent it back, corrected and everything! She's so great! And a friend of mine from Middle school! How cool is that!!!! anyways enough talk, go read, enjoy and review!

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I wonder where I will be tomorrow. I wonder why I didn't stay where I was a week ago, a thousand miles from here. I wonder if I should go back. I've been walking away from things since the day I learned to walk, and if I wasn't so god damn restless, I wouldn't be walking away from my life! I wonder where I am right now, if its a city, or a town. If it's even a place on a map, or if its just another broke down place, uncharted by the society we live in now. I wonder why it even matters! Sometimes I think I wonder too much. I wonder about Max, Zack and even about Ben. I wonder if Tinga and Brin are still alive and if not, if their deaths were quick and painless, or if it hurt like HELL! Sometimes I even wonder if or if not I am still alive. Can we call what I have life? Or is it just a waste of time? Would it even matter if Lydecker swooped down and took me from this so called life I have? No, I don't think so. This isn't life, this is just loneliness and its driving me crazy. Can a Transgenic go nuts? Hmmm, I'll let you know when I find out.

So where am I now? The sign a mile back said Seattle. Yes, I've heard of that before. It has a space needle in it. And its suppose to rain a lot here. It's sunny now, so now I wonder if I really am in Seattle or if my minds playing tricks on me again. No, it's Seattle alright. I think I should lay down and rest... I'm so tired, so very tired. Must get some sleep. It must have been days, maybe even weeks since I last slept... I can't remember... Theres a hotel. Must sleep. Must rest... It's dark now... so very dark.

I hate sleeping. I really do! Thats when everything hits you! You try so long to build up everything and throw it in a little box deep, deep down inside you somewhere. Hidden and safe. But when you sleep the box opens and hits you all at once. Ha, 22 years of bottling everything up and one night to open up all the old wounds. I hate crying, I really truly do! I try to close my eyes really tight but the tears always find a way to seep through the tiny cracks and quivers. What would Lydecker do if he saw me now!? It sickens me that he would be disappointed.

So here I lay, tears stained on my face, my dirty blond hair wild with sleep. I'm restless, sleep does that to me. I need to get out, I need to go do something. Possibly productive... Naw! I get to my feet and walk out the door. Its so weird, here I am just passing through this little city, when people spend their entire life here, never even setting a foot out of the baunderies of this place. Reminds me of a cage, and a cage reminds me of Manticore. The place where I spent almost a decade in. That place just makes me shiver. The sick and twisted things they did to me. The things they made me do!

Whats this place called? Crash! Hmm, must be a little run down bar or something. I can smell the sweat coming off the dancing bodies. I can smell the vomit from last week, the beer coming off the bodies like heat! But I can also smell... I know that smell. It smells like safe! Reminds me of home. Not Manticore home, like one of the only places where I felt safe. I walk towards the smell, and thats when I see her.

"Max?" I ask quietly, my voice skipping with anticaption. She smiles and pulls me into an embrace, hugging me, squeezing me. Thats the first time I've been touched in 3 years. The first time I felt safe in 13 years. I look over and see a familiar face. I've never seen him in person, but Zack had pictures in his wallet. He smells different but he was different. Ben's all grown up. I wrap my arms around him and give him all of me in a hug. I let him look into my eyes unguarded.  
"Who... are you?" Ben asks me.

"Its me! Jondy!" I say, with tears forming again. Why can't he remember me!?! Why?

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My friend Jamie wrote me awhile back and asked me to do a fic on Jondy. This is my first fic on her. I normaly do Max/ Alec or I've created a girl named Samantha, who I've yet shared with you fine people. So, be kind 


	2. Ummm Chap 2?

I have to warn you. This chap is a little slow. Just bear with me guys. It picks up I swear.  
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He looks good. Time has done him well opposed to me, where outside Manticore has only beaten me up and spit me out. Why is Ben looking at me like that? Max put her arm around him and smiled.  
"This is my good friend Alec!" She says. I'm confused. No, thats Ben! I saw the picture, I seen him!  
Max wraps her arms around me.  
"Its a long story little sister! I'll tell you about it a different time. Lets just have fun tonight."  
I smile and nod. Max was right, we'll talk about it later. I let Max lead me to a table full of people.  
"This is my best friend Original Cindy" She tells me. I smile at the sassy Afro-American woman sitting across from me. She smiles at me and hands me a beer. I couldn't bring myself to tell her that I don't drink and slam it down in one chug. We hung out for a little bit, but Max soon brings me to the space needle. I close my eyes, and feel the cold rush of wind threatening to toss me off. I almost wish it does.  
"Be careful little sis!" I turn around and smile at Max who is now sitting against the needle, atop the the building. I jump up and sit next to her.  
"So what have you been up to?" Max asks me. I fake a smile.  
"Honestly... I've been walking. Walking so long and so far, Max!" Max looks at me confused. I smile at her and look down at the city below.  
"So this is your high spot Max? I've never seen one like this!" Max almost glares at me but catches herself.  
"Its not my high spot Jondy! Its just a place I go to think!" I close my eyes and feel her moving closer to me. She wraps her arm around me and leans in a little.  
"You don't still believe in the blue lady, Jondy? Do you?" I open my eyes wide and look at her.  
"What do you mean Max!?"  
"You know what I'm saying! You don't believe in her little sis... right?" I shake my head knowing thats what she wanted to hear. I feel and emptiness deep down in my stomach, I failed her. The blue lady! Thats why she didn't help me, why she didn't take me to the good place.  
"Good." Max says to me. I hear it fading deep down within me. It's almost a whisper.

_"Jondy..." I hear the whisper. "Jondy..." I hear a bit louder. Ben's looking at me, eyes wide with fear.  
"It's okay Ben... We're almost to the gate!" He grabs my hand and I lead him to safety. He smiles as we dodge bullets and make our way through the woods.  
"What are you so happy about?" I smile. "She's taking us to the good place Jondy! We've been good, worthy of her!"_

"You there Jondy?" Max asks me. I shake away the memory and smile at my sister. After a few minuets of silence I bring up enough courage to ask her whats been on my mind.  
"Where is Ben?" Her smile fades away.  
"He's gone Jondy!"  
"Where did he go?" I ask. Max bows her head into her knees and puts her arms around them.  
"He's dead! Gone forever!" She whispers. I let one tear fall and stand up.  
"Where are you going?" She studders. I turn back, my tear glistening in the moonlight and smile.  
"You ever wish you were a bird Maxie? You ever wish you could spread out your wings and fly away?" I lean over the space needle spreading my arms out and close my eyes feeling the wind. No, not the wind, feeling Ben.  
"I wish that I was one. And I think I would be a raven, or maybe even an eagle." I feel Max moving closer. She puts a hand on my shoulder.  
"Come on, lets go back to my place!" She says. I shake my head.  
"No, you go! I'm not going." I sit down on the edge and look down below.  
"Are you leaving?" Max's question was so quiet, if I wasn't transgenic, I wouldn't have even of heard it. I smile and look at her.  
"No, I'm going to stay for awhile. I just need to be alone!" I answer.  
"You and Ben were always close! Okay, well meet me at Crash tomorrow. I'll be there right after work!" I nod but don't answer her. I hear her footstep fading until there was no longer a noise to hear.  
I just sat there and cried for hours. I cried for Ben, I cried for Max. I even cried for people I didn't know. I cried for everyone but myself.  
"You shouldn't cry." A deep voice told me. I didn't even bother looking back at him. Alec took a seat next to me as I wiped my tears away.  
"Why are you here by yourself in the dark little girl?" He asks. I smile.  
"I think I'm a bit older then you!" Alec chuckles at me.  
"Come on, I'm not going to leave you here by yourself and I was just heading home!"  
I turn and look at him. That was the lousiest pick up line I've ever heard, but then I realize... It wasn't a pick up line. It was pure concern.  
"Why do you care?" I ask him. He smiles and puts an arm around me.  
"Just because I'm a colon of your brother Ben, doesn't mean I don't care!" Alec put his hand over his heart, as if he'd been hurt by my statement. I push him away a little but don't get up.  
"I'm serious Alec, you don't even know me! Why, why are you being so nice? Why are you acting like a bi... little brother?"  
"You want the truth?"  
"Naw I really want you to lie to me, make up a good story!"  
"Well, transgenic's have a pretty good sense of good and bad people, and I can tell your a good one."  
"Does Max have a good sense?" Alec shakes his head.  
"Max has the worst sense I've ever seen!"  
"Is she in trouble?!"  
"Someday she'll get in it! That's why I stay around! Cause I know, somewhere under that bitchy, sarcastic, cruel girl there is a very small amount of a good person. I stay because I've seen that good girl a few times and I crave it!"  
"Your in love with her?"  
Alec nods his head.  
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I know this is a slow Chap. I'm setting it up for something.


End file.
